five years: a reflection from co-founder, kerri hanlon
Five years. As my business partner says, ‘It goes by in a blink of eye and a lifetime.” Such truth in those words.
Birthdays always leave me feeling nostalgic, curious and hopeful. I try to make time to reflect on the past year, be in inquiry around what filled my soul with delight and what I need to release, and make my birthday wishes to step into the year ahead with intention and purpose.
As we celebrate our 5th birthday at Yoga Home, I’ve been reflecting on what these years have brought for myself and our community.
One of the greatest joys of owning a yoga studio is witnessing the growth of our students. And when I say students, I mean beloved friends, as this is often something that happens, be it in days or years. Yoga is the process of discovering your inner truth; I’m consistently humbled by our students willing to lean into this work and share themselves so generously with us.
We’ve seen relationships blossom – strangers become friends, new friends based less on age and occupation and more on common interests and a willingness to allow themselves to be seen as they really are, perhaps not the ‘identify’ they might share at a cocktail party.
We’ve seen students fall in love, get engaged and marry. We’ve delighted in the birth of their children and moves to new homes. We’ve celebrated college acceptances, weddings of their children and survival of health scares.
And because life is what it is, we’ve held our students in time of grief and sorrow. News of health issues, relationships that are ending, pregnancy loss and the loss of pets – I’m always so grateful when our students share their news with us, so we might offer support, be it a healing touch, a lavender foot rub or tea time and conversation cuddled up on the couch.
And because life is temporary, we’ve seen two of our beloved students pass. I’m sure this will never get easier, yet I know this is part of life.
On a personal level, the past five years has brought tremendous transition for me, and I know I’m not alone. I’m in the season of my life where I’ve celebrated a “milestone” birthday myself, celebrated college graduation of two of my children and delighted in seeing them transition to the world of adulting. I’ve advocated for those with disabilities and was honored with an Emmy and recognition from the United Nations for “On the Other Side of the Fence.” I’m grateful this happened before I had to lay to rest my mother. It’s never easy losing a parent, and the support of my community helped ease the transition.
And then my world was rocked. Sean, my sweet son of 19, passed away.
It’s been a year and a half, and I’m still working to make sense of it. With time, and a whole lot of effort, I’ve worked to let my grief run through me and give myself permission to step into a lightness of being. I’m not always there, and if my practice has taught me anything, it’s that the more I allow myself to be in the experience of what is rather than trying to fix it, the more I’m true to myself and the healing can begin. So I do what a yogi does – I lay on my mat and breathe.
Five years, the relationships in my life have shifted. I’ve discovered so much about myself – and it’s not always pretty. I’ve sought forgiveness from those I’ve wronged, I’ve had to release some relationships that weren’t healthy, and dedicate time and energy to those who matter to me most. I hope they know who they are by my words and actions.
Five years, my physical body has shifted. Grief took a marked toll, and I’d be dishonest if I didn’t allow that the natural process of aging is there. My runs are more walks, but I know the fire is still within me to do cartwheels on the beach when my spirit needs it.
Five years, my mental body has shifted. When we first envisioned Yoga Home, I thought I would continue with my Strategic Planning consulting work and Yoga Home would be on the side. How wrong I was. I’ve learned small business owners wear every hat in the book, and sometimes the fit isn’t quite right, but you need to find a way to rock it anyway, because your team is counting on you. How I actively problem solve and give space for processing has taken on a new way of being.
Five years, my soul has shifted. I’ve had to invite in all the emotions – even when it’s brutally hard to do – to remember who I am, but also grow into who I am meant to be. Right now. Not what fed my soul in my youth (likely not the best idea to hitchhike on the back of someone’s motorcycle on the beach), not what I envision my future self to look like (Mah Jongg coordinator at the Senior Center), but Right Now.
Five years, at my age, is but a fraction of my life. And yet, it’s been the most pivotal and profound five years I think I’ve ever had.
I’m grateful beyond measure for all who’ve supported me these past five years. My guess is your five years have held ups and downs, challenges and joys as well. We’re still here. And that, my friends, is worth celebrating.